I Got a Seahawks Jones

Seahawks Jones, I got a Seahawks Jones
Got a Seahawks Jones, oh Walter, oo-oo-ooo

Yes, I am the victim of a Seahawks Jones
Ever since I was a little baby, I always be Seahawkin
'In fac', I was de baddest Seahawk in the whole neighborhood
Then one day, my mama bought me a Seahawks jersey
And I loved that Seahawks jersey
I took that Seahawks jersey with me everywhere I went
That Seahawks jersey was like a Seahawks jersey to me

I even put that Seahawks jersey underneath my pillow
Maybe that's why I can't sleep at night
I need help, ladies and gentlemens
I need someone to stand beside Mebane
I need, I need someone to throw a block for Beast

At the goal-line of life, someone I can pass to
Someone to hit the open man in the endzone
And not end up in the coffee machine
So Seagals, help me out

Seahawks Jones, I got a Seahawks Jones
I got a Seahawks Jones, oh Walter, oo-oo-ooo

Oh, that sounds so sweet, sing it out
C'mon coach Carroll, Red Bryant, sing along with me
That be bad, hawky, yeah
I want everybody in the whole CLink
To stand up and sing with us

Oh yeah, sing it out like you're proud
All right, nobody watchin' coast-to-coast
Sing along with us, Brian Russell, sing along with us
Steve Raible, sing along with us
Peter King, don't sing nothin'

Oh, it feels so Golden, give Marshawn the damn ball
We'll go one on one against the 49ers, left-handed
K.J. could stuff Smith from midfield with his toes
E.T. could jump on top of the goal posts
Take off a quarter, leave fifteen cents change
Russ could, Russ could Statue of Liberty behind his back
We got more moves than Ex-Lax We bad

Reggie could tackle with his Tongue
Here we go down field, try to stop us
You can't stop me 'cause I got a Seahawks Jones
Here I come that's my fade pass with my eyebrow
Yeah, Sid could catch passes with his nose
We're, we're bad as King Kong, give Marshawn the ball
I'm hot, I'm hot as, I'm hot as, I'm hot as, uh uh, uh, uh, uh

Seahawks Jones, I got a Seahawks Jones
I got a Seahawks Jones, Seahawks Jones
Seahawks Jones, I got a Seahawks Jones
I got a Seahawks Jones, Seahawks Jones

Seahawks Jones, I got a Seahawks Jones
I got a Seahawks Jones, Seahawks Jones
Seahawks Jones, I got a Seahawks Jones
I got a Seahawks Jones, Seahawks Jones

Seahawks Jones, I got a Seahawks Jones
I got a Seahawks Jones, Seahawks Jones
Seahawks Jones, I got a Seahawks Jones
I got a Seahawks Jones, Seahawks Jones

Yeah Walter, I'm dead serious.  And what you gonna do about it Jason?  When I said I got a Seahawks Jones I meant the deepest sort of blues a sports fan could get from missing their team in action.  I mean, I miss you and all Walter, but I'm perfectly fine with watching Russell Okung develop in front of my eyes.  And Jason, while you've been the metronome of the Seahawks defense, I don't miss you too much.  I'm talkin about the Seahawks Jones.  Every year the bye week swoops through and I just build an utter contempt for the rest of the NFL.  My friends tell me that this was "one of the craziest weeks in NFL history."  I just laugh.  That's crazy to you?  Browns/Cowboys goin to overtime is "crazy?"  Bucs/Panthers???  Jags/Texans?!?!??!?!  Damn our standards are low as a collective...

Look, I understand, Americans love free shit, so OF COURSE overtime games get the blood flowing!  However, what we saw last Sunday was not jawdropping stuff here.  It was just another week in the NFL, and a week where the Seahawks weren't playing.  Nothing new here, even when the Seahawks do play I'm used to them getting the coverage that would be the equivalent of a Division 3 High School Team.  But such is life.  I'm used to it by now.  And I could care less that I just used but to start a sentence.  It works here. 

I guess what I'm saying is...  I don't give a shit about the rest of the NFL.  At all.  I used to care.  I grew up a HUGE fan of the NFL.  Then, I became a Seahawks fan and the NFL gave me nothing.  My friends and enemies alike are probably reading this thinking, "what a hater!"  You're right.  I hate the NFL and everything it stands for nowadays. 

I hate Fantasy Football.  Yes, I'm in a fantasy football league.  My team name you ask?  Seattle Seahawks.  Silly abbreviation?  SEA.  My roster?  The entire 2012 Seattle Seahawks roster, including team defense.  My record?  2-9.  Amount of money on the line?  $40.  Nothing crazy, but when you consider that I just gave away a win to some random opponent who I don't even care to know the name of, you can clearly see that I don't give a shit about fantasy football.  Look, my team has had a rough season so far, they deserved the week off...  Fantasy football has created an army of mindless football drones who know nothing about the actual game but only care to project what said meaningless player they don't give two shits about will do next week.  Bravo.  No more valuable internet space will be wasted here about fantasy football.

I hate Roger Goodell.  The pussification of the game is getting downright embarrassing, and for what?  Every time the league tries to act like it gives a damn about "player safety" it somehow manages to shine through how little they actually care.  I told everyone who would listen that "Bounty Gate" was a sham from the get go.  Other football fans tried to convince me how it was for "the good of the game" but deep down I always knew that it was for the good of the league's wallets.  Everybody knew deep down inside, but everybody loves living in make believe so it's understandable why people didn't want to believe at first.  Goodell continues to implement nothing but bullshit, but he seems to be pretty good at it.  Everyone continues to eat it up, without ever REALLY questioning his authority. 

I hate the way games are broadcast now.  Any time there's even the slightest possibility of showing a big hit, the networks shy away.  They'll show you the entire play in majestic slow-motion, up until the knockout blow!  That, well, that gets hidden under the rug.  I'm continously frustrated by NBC's ability to avoid major contact at all costs.  And while we're on the matter, anyone notice the absense of "Jacked Up?"  I honestly don't, because I haven't watched ESPN in a long time, but people tell me it's gone!  And the Ed Reed "suspension?"  Utterly laughable on so many levels.  The fact that if he were a Cleveland Brown, he'd still be suspended.  The fact that he shouldn't have been "suspended" in the first place.  It's all just a sick, sad joke.  Why even wear helmets at this point?  If you're so adament about helmet to helmet hits, why not just let the players wear leather caps again?  I guarentee you headshots would go down if helmets went away.  It works in Rugby, for those who actually decide to wear the caps.  What's especially ironic about the NFL nowadays is that you have to win while being a good guy on the field, or else your image is tarnished.  However, like Ben Rapelisberger has proven time and time again, you can be the greazy scumbag you aspire to be off the field, no problem.

This isn't all angst and sadness though, because there IS something I love.  The Seattle Seahawks of course.  I love that the Seahawks are a throwback to a bygone era.  I love that they try, AT LEAST TRY, and impose their will on their opponent.  That's what football is all about, at least to me, and it's something I definitely admire.  They might not be all the way there yet, but these things take time.  And time is something I think I have a lot of, maybe.  I also love that they sparked this kind of emotion inside of me and the fact that they always have and always will.  The Seahawks get me feeling like the kid singing this song.  They get me feeling like I'm ready to take on the world.  I'm probably not, but they inspire me to feel that way and that's all I can ask for in this life. 

As you can tell, it was a tough week without the Hawks.  I went through my withdrawals but now I'm focused on Miami.  We've got a legit chance at getting off to a 7-4 start without anyone really giving a flying fudge and I absolutely love that.  I used to care about fantasy football and playoff pictures, but now I just don't give a damn.  I'm just focused on what the Seahawks will do from week to week and it's not only because I'm an extreme sort of Diehard.  It's because I care about and believe in the players and identity of the this team.  I'd love to meet everyone that's a part of this, from Russell Wilson all the way on down to the equipment manager.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving I'll just say my peace on the matter.  I'm thankful that I'll never have to watch any other teams play for the pure sake of "entertainment" or for the simple matter that it's better than doing nothing while I work.  I'm thankful that the Seahawks pay homage to the warriors who came before them by playing balls to the wall from whistle to whistle.  Sure, I'm thankful for real life things..  of course, however, the Seahawks are about as real as it gets for me.  It's like the Basketball Jones.  A week away from the Hawks is too much for me, especially when it's full-on football season.  Except for the fantasy footballers of course, their season is coming to an end soon.  Maybe this means I won't have to endure mindless fantasy football jargon and the cheesy cliches that go along with it...

Nah, probably not.